I'm not a good Harry Potter fan

Long time no blog, heh? Well..this is a warning, this one is me just being angsty? I don't know...well here it goes.


I don't know what's with me today, I've had this gloom and Sadness hanging over my head since I've been up,I mean it has reason(which might seem Silly to some but I'm sure most of the people I talk to on here get it)and I guess I've always had that feeling hanging over my head, it just seems stronger today, maybe it's that people are talking about Leakycon or the soon to be released "Dear Mr.Potter", either way I can't shake it off and writing this is the only thing I could think to make it better so I can get on with my day.

It's not the fact I can't attend Leakycon.
I mean that sucks SO BAD and I really wish I could, but I understand with Money and not having a job/being 20 it's almost impossible to go and by this point if I can't go with Allie and Pottsie it wouldn't seem right.

Oh, Writing this I'm noticing I keep skipping the Wrock on my ipod so..let's get to the underline reason for this upsetness

I'm not a good Harry Potter fan
AT
ALL
like, I never felt like a good Harry Potter fan(let's add also not a good nerd) since forever, but since last year when I got for the first time REALLY into it(Wrock,HPA...reading the books) I've been feeling more and more down about it, like I never experienced amazing things to do with it, I never got to be excited about the release of the books or wondering what's gonna happen next, I already knew everything before I finally read the books and it just doesn't seem the same as other peoples experiences

This isn't to say Harry Potter hasn't been in my life! It always has been..just, it's just been THERE, nothing huge I've just always seen the movies and I've always just liked it! I've had Harry Potter brithday cakes and a fake little wand and video games and all that stuff but..it just didn't change anything about my life.
No midnight releases
No reading the books(I didn't like books when I was little, okay? I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLE)
It's just always been in my life!

So the whole idea that I met the awesome marauders was really just a big fluke, it was when I was in my semi-obessed stage a year ago, checking mugglenet everyday and I saw something about the HPA
BAM Livestream
BAM chat
BAM meeting the best people ever

And seeing people who stayed up late waiting for the books and going to wrock concerts or cons, Harry Potter changed their lifes, having posters and just tons of stuff and knowing tons about it.
And it made me realise
I'm not a good Harry Potter fan
I never and will never have that experience of being a child dressed up in costume wanting to know what was next
or the prime-time of Wrock and the fandom

and I feel like missing out on Leaky which might of been my last chance of having an experence like that, I know that I'm going to be seeing it with Allie and maybe Pottsie which will be amazing but..without the HUGE thing with leaky I'm afraid I'll not have that big fandom moment...blah this stupid but...I'm afraid I won't cry. I KNOW it's silly but I didn't cry at DHpt1 and I felt
so terrible, I only cried once reading the books(By the time prince's tale came around I was done for)
I just wanna be a obsessed fan for once so badly, I want to be dressed up with my friend waiting in line excited to see the trio one last time, I WANT them to be my trio, the one I grew up, the ones who I looked up to and wanted to go on adventures with and wanted to be friends with SO BAD, but I'm afraid that they aren't.
Maybe this is why I've never been able to listen to "End of a era", I'm not afraid
I'll cry I'm more afraid I won't be able to, because I don't know if I've ever had those feelings..I want to feel like I've had, and I don't know if it's just because I'm a perfectionist about my life or if I just haven't had those feelings...
And I'm afraid it's too late for them.



I don't know, If you've read this thing I'M SO SORRY! I don't even know if it makes sense and I never/hate complaining about stuff like this, cause at the end of the day it doesn't really matter and it isn't a terrible thing and it's stupid for
me to waste my time worrying about it...but it's just been hanging over my head and writing does seem to help, so I'm gonna blog this and hope by the end of it(if anyone reads it) you'll still like me.

THIS LINE WAS WRITTEN ON THE LAST 12:02AM 2010 TIME THAT WILL EVER BE
THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME I'M UP PAST 12 IN 2010 WITH YOU GUYS
And this is why my year was awesome
and now I'm crying...

This year has been...Amazing!
Best year of my life. :) And I can really really say with all my heart it's because of you guys.

I'm gonna steal Nikki's idea and list all the things I did this year! THOUGH IT SHALL NOT BE AS GOOD!

-Went to philly for the second time in my life
-Had friends(From Philly) vist our house and stay for(The best) birthday ever
-Found out about wrock and ALL CAPS
-Had a birthday video made for me that made my year
-Had a birthday SHOUTOUT from Wrockers and DFTBA artists
-Got into Harry Potter even more
-Found out about nerdfighters
-Found out about the HPA
-Visted a lot of new places
-Found out about tumblr and started twitter
-Became a Marauder
-Met Allie IRL twice
-Started Violin!
-Gained self-esteme
-Went to my first concert ever
-Lost family members
-Learned how to knit
-Went to a medievel festival
-Found out what I wanna do with my life
-Learned more about myself and became....Happy
-Learned so-so-so much
-DOCTOR WHO
-Saw my brother grow up and also become happy
-I found out how lucky I am and how to be happy
-Went biking again
-Had my hair grow long
-Made my first youtube videos
-Did BEDA
-Got a onesie
-Failed NaNoWriMo
-Did P4A for the first time
-Had the best year ever

I can't remember everything..so much happend.
AND reading Kimmie's and Nikki's I feel very failish..but this is me.

I know it might seem lame but the best part of this year was you guys
You showed me nerdfighters
and all these things that have made me a better person.
YOU CHANGED MY LIFE
NEXT YEAR WILL BE AMAZING BECAUSE IT'S STARTING WITH YOU
We are this collab channel monday and yes I am so scared but excited to see what this
brings.

I love you guys
I love you so much
Thank you for this year
Because I'm happy I am so so so happy
I won't miss out on life anymore because I don't think I'm "doing it right" or I'm
to ugly or stupid
Whenever I wanna do something new I can raise my head high and become who I wanna be
Because of you people
Guys you changed my life. :)
I'm so happy and the reason this blog isn't giant or amazing like Nikki's and Kimmie's is because everytime I tried writting about how this year has changed me
or how you guys have made my year I start crying :P No more blogs at midnight, right?

SO GOODBYE 2010
I WILL MISS YOU
BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THIS YEAR HOLDS
WHO WILL I MEET?
WHAT WILL I DO?
WHERE WILL I GO?
WHEN WILL I SEE ANY OF YOU IN RL?

Thanks you guys. :)

A couple of days off

Hey guys! Please excuse any horrible*and lack of* spelling/grammar you encounter in this post(It's very late at night!)

So for the past couple weeks I've been spending less and less time on the computer- well uhh more like I've just been staring at tumblr and then sleeping for most of the
day when I could be doing importent internet things, I'm not really sure why I've
been abit off for these past couple weeks but I'm really starting to notice how this is effecting my Rl self/internet self. I'm not doing as much stuff online and I've just been.....I don't wanna say 'depressed' or anything because it seems much to
dramatic. I think the better words would be in a slump or just out of it.
SO ANYWAYS ON TO LA POINT
since it's near christmas and there are like 100000things I should be doing (HPA,P4A,Collab channel, and RL things) I'm going to be taking 3days off the internet so I can work a little on all of these
yes 3days off the internet, you heard me.

So this is why I'm making this blog post! To let you guys know that I'm not turning my computer on for 3days and I'm not going anywhere near - skype, facebook, twitter, tumblr, well just ANYTHING internety (even youtube..)
please don't think this is a dramatic thing! I just need a couple of days to get my
brain working so I can be in these things 100%! I love you guys so much but I just need these couple days off <3

I'll be on a tiny bit sunday(Just so I can make sure of a couple of things) but then I won't be on till wednesday night or thursday afternoon*or night*.
when I'm back I'll get talking with you guys about the collab channel for real and do my channel intro video, I really just need these days off.

I love you guys SOOOO much! <3 See you soon.

Last day of Beda...

Last day of BEDA *Sigh* I'm slightly proud of myself that I had one
everyday but more upset that I 1) Didn't write my own blogs sometimes
2) Most of my blogs included how tired I was and they were very short
3) Just plained sucked!


So August was interesting, I started violin..Met Allie, Found out
friends were comeing over for my birthday and did alot of cool
stuff outside, Read many amazing books and did this thing that
now when I think back some nights I just wanted to go to bed
and not even write a blog about going to bed! This month I've gotten
into so many ideas and challenges and just had so much fun! I've
learned of so much new stuff and it's just been amazing! I really
am suprised at all thats happend and will be happing for the last
of this year(Fall is the most busy time of year for me), And
I'm so gratfull that I could have all these amazing people in my
life for this summer, Really I don't know what I would have done!

I hope you might of enjoyed my blogs, The ones you read and the ones
you wrote(Well, Some of you). And hopefully if I ever get the guts
the ones you will read, I've had so much fun reading all of yours
and watching all the VLOGS, And knowing that even though I failed
hard at it, I still did it.

=) Have a good september everyone!

Almost the last blog

Jessie is so cool that she let Justine write this.
Justine started and failed.

Today, I sang with Nikki and she didn't know.
But she apologized, so she's still amazing :)

Rebecca used her sonic screwdriver to fix "Don't Unplug me"

Preview of the fanfic:
"Melissa Anelli took a deep breath, and walked into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter."

Nikki's voice is in third place to Kate's and Emily's

Emily's voice is very nice.

She's British.

British is good.

I have an iPhone.

Nikki is good.

I like Nikki.

Allie's skype broke.

Bye.

Tiredness

I'm extremly tired and sad right now, So I'm just going to go read the uglies and pass out.

Have a wonderfull monday!

Not made by me, But I like it. :D

Jessie is awesome because she loves evilmj. She has offered to serve evilmj's every will And she's so cool.